You Can Just Say No To Your Kids

A client of mine asked the following question:
"Every time we go anyplace with my kids they always want to buy snacks or go to the gift shop and buy souvenirs. If we go to the store to buy someone else a gift they want one too. We are on a limited budget. We can take them to museums and other places but we can't afford the extras. How do I get them to stop asking for stuff?
That is a great question.
The real issue here is not how to get them to stop asking you for stuff but how you can say no. Children will rarely stop asking as long as they know that their parents will eventually give in. They will use every argument they can to get the stuff they want. They will appeal to your sense of justice and say, "It's not fair! You never get us anything!" If that doesn't work they will accuse you of cruelty, "You are so mean!"
Another ploy that they use is to compare your parenting skills to other parents they know, "But, Allie, parents always buy her everything she wants. I wish they were my parents."
Parents need to be very strong and secure in their parenting skills to withstand this verbal onslaught. Children can be very persuasive when they want to be.
Here is what you need to know to say "no" to your children with confidence:
1. Don't get angry at your children for wanting and desiring stuff. Humans have a drive to acquire. This instinct that we have serves an important purpose. It is ultimately what causes us to move forward and progress in our world. This drive is what fuels our ambitions, causes us to be curious and give us our unique, individual passions. Respect and understand this need in your children. Instead of getting upset when they start in with their complaints and requests, view them with compassion. It is very hard to want things that you can't have. If they hear that you actually care about how they feel, they will be able to accept your "no" gracefully.
2. You are not unfair, mean or a loser when you don't give your children everything they want. You are a responsible parent. You are teaching your child to curb their impulses and learn to delay gratification. Those are two important ingredients in creating emotionally healthy adults. They are also the key to promoting emotional intelligence in your child. Once you are convinced that you are doing the right thing saying "no" will get a lot easier.
To take the next step and learn how to really effectively say "no" to your children come and sign up for our highly informative "How To Talk" workshop. Visit us at http://www.parentingsimply.com for more information.


Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/5380200

A client of mine asked the following question:

"Every time we go anyplace with my kids they always want to buy snacks or go to the gift shop and buy souvenirs. If we go to the store to buy someone else a gift they want one too. We are on a limited budget. We can take them to museums and other places but we can't afford the extras. How do I get them to stop asking for stuff?

That is a great question.

The real issue here is not how to get them to stop asking you for stuff but how you can say no. Children will rarely stop asking as long as they know that their parents will eventually give in. They will use every argument they can to get the stuff they want. They will appeal to your sense of justice and say, "It's not fair! You never get us anything!" If that doesn't work they will accuse you of cruelty, "You are so mean!"

Another ploy that they use is to compare your parenting skills to other parents they know, "But, Allie, parents always buy her everything she wants. I wish they were my parents."

Parents need to be very strong and secure in their parenting skills to withstand this verbal onslaught. Children can be very persuasive when they want to be.

Here is what you need to know to say "no" to your children with confidence:

1. Don't get angry at your children for wanting and desiring stuff. Humans have a drive to acquire. This instinct that we have serves an important purpose. It is ultimately what causes us to move forward and progress in our world. This drive is what fuels our ambitions, causes us to be curious and give us our unique, individual passions. Respect and understand this need in your children. Instead of getting upset when they start in with their complaints and requests, view them with compassion. It is very hard to want things that you can't have. If they hear that you actually care about how they feel, they will be able to accept your "no" gracefully.

2. You are not unfair, mean or a loser when you don't give your children everything they want. You are a responsible parent. You are teaching your child to curb their impulses and learn to delay gratification. Those are two important ingredients in creating emotionally healthy adults. They are also the key to promoting emotional intelligence in your child. Once you are convinced that you are doing the right thing saying "no" will get a lot easier.

To take the next step and learn how to really effectively say "no" to your children come and sign up for our highly informative "How To Talk" workshop. Visit us at http://www.parentingsimply.com for more information.